The Wonderful Thing About Williams

...is that William's a wonderful thing.

He's a wonderful thing who declares he is done with a meal, refuses to eat another bite--will even try to toss his food to Lola if you are not watching--only to desperately grab at any morsel close enough and shove them in his mouth like a starved prisoner as soon as you try to wipe his hands and mouth and remove the tray.

He's a wonderful thing who giggles every time he sees Lola underneath the tablecloth or walking through the door to greet him after a nap and has started using her as a chair, carefully positioning himself between her front paws or by her belly and then leaning back his full weight into her.

He's a wonderful thing who sets goals and works hard to achieve them, lately seeking out any "short" steps so that he can try to step up and step down while standing up like a big boy... much to my terror.

He's a wonderful thing who eats a popscicle faster than anybody I know and loves to carry around and chew on ice but will not let ice cream anywhere near his mouth.

He's a wonderful thing who now not only kicks and dribbles any balls he sees but has also just recently started saying ball too.

And that's the thing. Each day reveals so many more and so many of the same wonderful things about William that I feel silly and sinful for worrying about the things that he is not doing or saying. Last week, I got an email with the subject line, "Warning Signs of Language Delay," that I let cause me much more stress than I should have. Although Will is a happy, physically precocious boy, who follows directions well, he wasn't really saying "mama" or "dada" regularly or pointing at things in the sky or shaking his head, all things the email listed as "warning signs" for a twelve-month-old. And even though in the week since that email, he's started saying "dada" more and can point out different animals in his books, he'd still be wonderful if he didn't do those things and if he did have a language delay or some other issue. He'd still be my wonderful thing, my pride and joy, the little boy that God entrusted to me to love and raise to serve Him and others. So the lesson for me here is the lesson I need to be reminded of over and over again: less time email/internet reading, no time worrying, and more Bible/prayer time. Less of the world and more of God and family.

Also, would you like this rock?

Not the Original Plan

Yesterday between naps (and eating and cleaning), we got in a walk around the neighborhood for Lola and a trip to the playground for Will. Our new favorite playground is in the middle of all the soccer fields in our park and has plenty of gumballs (with all the spiky things removed somehow) for Will to collect and carry around as he climbs up slides and through tubes. Over the spring and summer, I can just imagine Will learning to climb the rock wall and go down the slides on his own. Maybe with much prompting, he will eventually sit back in the swing. Who knows? 

In August, as planned, I will be going back to work teaching English to high school freshman, and I am looking forward to being back in the classroom. So starting in August, I probably won't have time to get in both a walk and a trip to the park on every nice day, but I will have time for at least one because I am going to work part-time! Through prayer, Jason and I realized that me working part-time would be best for both our family and my students but didn't know if it was even an option. So months and months ago, I put in a request, and a few weeks ago, I found out that I was approved for teaching two classes (as opposed to five + an advisory) a semester. 

I will still get to spend most of the day with William, and he will get to spend his afternoons with Maggie and Piper, which I think will actually be much better for his development than spending the afternoons with me. I really can't imagine a more perfect situation. We keep putting our faith and trust in God's plan for our lives and tearing ourselves away from our own plans. And every time, His plan is SO much better. I am so thankful to God for his plans for my life and all of the amazing people involved, for my family, for my bosses, for my students, and most of all for William and Jason. Also, William makes it a point to take a moment to say hi to all walkers and runners who come by on the path... but if they happen to have a puppy dog with them, he will stop whatever he is doing and run full speed, shrieking the entire time. So if you are in the area, please plan your walks accordingly. The shreiks are pretty freakin cute.

I Love Lent!

Happy Lent! We just got home from church, and I am pumped! (Will, on the other hand, fell asleep on the two minute car ride home and had to be roused for the selfie you see above.) I love Lent because Lent is all about Love. Specifically for me, Lent helps me focus on God's love in my life and how I can share his love with others by fasting (giving up and taking up), charity (giving more to others), and prayer (speaking with God).

Are you participating in Lent this year? As a family, we are going to complete the Food for the Poor Lenten Devotional (online version here) each night during our reading time in the hopes of starting a lasting habit. I am giving up my biggest idol, the thing that I know takes up too much time and attention in my life, so as of last night, I deleted the Facebook, Instagram, and Bloglovin' apps from my phone. Instead of scrolling through my phone, I am going to try to memorize the daily verse from the devotional. Any time I think about checking my phone, I am going to get into plank position and read/say the verse five times. Hopefully, I'll have many more Bible verses commited to memory and have rocking abs in 40 days. I am also hoping to expand my Treat Yo Spouse idea into Treat Yo Neighbor by trying to give little treats to people anonymously (ok, somewhat anonymously since now you know), especially if I feel anger or resentment to someone. The only treat I can think of so far is paying for someone else's Starbucks in the drive thru, so I am going to start there and try to brainstorm some others. I'd love to hear if you have any other good ideas of ways to anonymously treat strangers.

Also, I'm always interested in how other people and families celebrate any holiday or season but especially Lent. I loved seeing that one of my favorite bloggers, Jen, is participating in Lent for the first time, and this post about How to Win at Lent particularly interested me. I am going to try a link-up for the first time, so if you are interested in reading about how other people are participating in Lent with their families, check out the blogs below. And again, Happy Lent!

Equipping Catholic Families

Campfires and Cleats

Truly Rich Mom

A Slice of Smith Life  

Home to 4 Kiddos

TREAT. YO. Spouse.

Happy Fat Tuesday! Mardi Gras season always reminds me of this great Parks and Rec Episode where Donna and Tom get together once a year to celebrate Treat Yo' Self Day. They treat themselves to all sorts of elaborate items and encourage each other not to feel bad about any of it. What a great holiday, right? 

Lately, Jason and I have been trying harder to treat each other. It kind of started with Valentine's Day, but we have continued by trying to find little ways to treat each other here and there. A favorite take-out meal. Treat yo spouse! A bubble bath with candles and wine. Treat yo spouse! An elaborate home-made meal. Treat yo spouse! Taking on the other's household chore. Treat yo spouse! Clothes. Fragrances. Massages. Mimosas. Treat yo spouse! And let me tell you, treating yo spouse is so much better than treating yo self. I feel like it has revitalized our relationship so much that I almost feel like I've gone back eleven years to when we were first dating.

Truth be told, over the last year, we've been through a lot of stress--learning how to be new parents, going from two incomes to one--and I had started to harbor some resentment toward Jason about frivolous things like he got to sleep in later than me two days a week and the trash always seemed to be full. Jason also pointed out that when I seemed to have a bad day with Will, I would take it out on him, and I resented him pointing that out. No matter how many times I rationalized that I really got to sleep later than him five days a week, and Will and I were the ones making most of the trash, and that I should not take out my bad day on the people I love, I still felt anger and resentment that was putting a strain on our relationship. 

Then, one day I was reading notes on Matthew 14:13-15 that pointed out that when Jesus tried to get away for some rest after teaching and serving so many, there was a crowd eagerly waiting for Him. He could have been irritated with the demanding crowd and reacted with resentment, but instead, He reacted by serving the people even more. It was just a small paragraph in four or five pages of notes, but it really rocked the little world of resentment that I had built up around myself. Our lives have changed so much in the last year, and for a few months, Jason and I had to go into survival mode, just trying to keep Will healthy and all of us fed and cleaned and clothed. The problem was that I kept treating Jason as my survival partner even though we are no longer in survival mode. And so, after prayer and reflection, I decided to get over myself and try to start treating Jason like the love of my life again. I started small by taking out some of the trash myself and getting him his favorite meal from one of his favorite restaurants, and it made me feel good to do nice things for him even though they were really small. Then, I thought of more things I could do to treat him. And without even talking about it, he did the same for me, and we haven't stopped treating each other special. And I hope we never stop.  (But I know myself better than that, so just in case, I keep those notes underlined on my bedside table.) Do you have any advice or tips that help you and your spouse stay connected for better or for worse? I'd love to hear it!

Also, I think it really is more of the thought (and feeling) that counts than the actual treat. I tried my darnedest to get Jason sushi on Friday for dinner and then Saturday for lunch, and that freakin' sushi restaurant has the oddest hours. So even though he had to go pick up the sushi himself while I stayed home with Will, I know it still made Jason happy that I tried.

Super Will

Do you have a favorite time of day? Walking into Will's room to pick him up from his crib in the morning or after one of his naps is mine. Usually, he's jumping. Sometimes, he's chomping. But as soon as he sees me, a huge smile spreads across that rosie-cheeked face, and everything is so right in our little world. Mama and baby together again. My heart swells as I pick him up, and we dance around the room for a bit before assessing the diaper situation. The peculiar thing is, though, that right before I walk in, when I first hear him on the monitor, I always hope that he isn't really awake, just transitioning to his next sleep cycle and settling in for another thirty minutes or so.  

The feeling is similar to when Will plays with my eyelashes, so sweet and intimate and uncomfortable. Or when he wants to feed me his food, so considerate and communal and slimy. Or when he is into e.v.e.r.y.t.h.i.n.g all day long. I love that he is so curious and active and determined. I don't want to quash those traits, but at the same time, I don't want him to run (crawl) wild. Being consistent and following through with boundaries has become more and more challenging for me. Just when I think Will knows and respects a boundary, he goes and tests it again, and I feel like a failure as a parent.  

Luckily, I have a great partner in Jason, many great parental role models in my family, and the best example in my Father. Because of His example, I know that providing discipline and limits and consequences are an important part of loving Will. I know that it is important to tell Will over and over "not for baby" and pick him up when he doesn't listen and heads for dog bowls/fireplace/dog toys and not give into his crying. I know it's important, and I know God will provide me with the strength and patience and motivation to follow through.

Also, I know this is probably just the beginning, and most of all, I know that disciplining William is a truly a privilege. And mercifully, Will is more parts sweet and silly than frustrating. I mean, just look. Those cheeks. That perpetual motion. That mullet. Those cheeks!

Timing

On New Year's Eve, with a house full of loved ones enjoying food and drink, while my mom and I were getting ready to give William a bath, put him to bed, and then enjoy some more food, drink, and games before celebrating the New Year with the East coast at 11:00 pm and then going to bed (because that's how we roll now), I realized that we were out of propane.  I realized we were out of propane when I placed my naked baby in a bath of cold water. (Parent of the Year!) For you city folk out there, no propane means, no heat, no hot water, no oven or stove, and no dryer. So instead of food, drink, games, and an early celebration, Jason got on the phone with the propane company, and I started packing up supplies so that we could all go sleep at my parent's house. Oh! And I had to kick all of my loved ones out. I was beyond frustrated, but you know what, our tank was completely filled that night. (I don't even want to know what an entire tank of propane plus the emergency fill fee costs. Jason, please don't tell me.) And on Sunday, just five days later, when twelve inches of snow and Arctic weather came, and no propane truck would have been able to make it to us and we probably wouldn't have been able to make it the two miles to my parent's house, we had a full tank of propane and no worries that we would run out. Perfect timing!

Also, I plan on recreating the New Year's Eve baby sleep over celebration extravaganza (Maggie, Alex, and Piper had planned to spend the night but, as you now know, were sent home.) with food, drink, and games. So really, it's a win win. Maybe a Golden Globes baby sleep over celebration extravaganza or a Super Bowl baby sleep over celebration extravaganza or a Friday night where everyone just happens to be off and free baby sleep over extravaganza? Whatever night we decide on, I'll make sure Jason checks the propane the day before.

A Perfect Way to Start the Week

Happy Epiphany! Christmas is officially over, and I am officially back to blogging. Yesterday, while I was putting away all the Christmas decorations and considering (for a very brief moment) replacing them with Valentine's Day ones to fill in all the newly clutter-free (and color-free) spaces, Jason was waiting for the snow to stop so he could go shovel our driveway in anticipation of heading in to work in the morning. After over twelve hours and twelve inches of snowfall, when he finally headed out to get started, he wasn't out there more than half an hour before our neighbor came by on his four wheeler with a snowplow attachment to help out. While one neighbor was clearing our driveway, another one started plowing our street. That night, we thanked God for our home on a private road, on the top of a hill, covered in twelve inches of snow, and surrounded by such giving people.

When I wrote about my four goals before 2014, I mentioned that the TED Radio Hour on NPR is a great place to hear meaningful TED talks.  I was listening to their show all about giving yesterday, and many of the ideas resonated with me. Although the Christmas season is officially over, the season of giving can last as long as we keep it up. I highly recommend taking the time to listen to the talks for some inspiration to keep your spirit merry and bright now that all the decorations and songs are gone. You can click on the picture below to stream or download the show.

Also, if you are interested, tickets for the TEDxGatewayArch conference on January 11th at the Sheldon are still on sale.

Happy Monday! I hope your week is filled with many opportunities to give and receive.

Prepare the Way

When we were registering for our wedding, I never registered for china because I always hoped I would get a set (or two? or three?) passed down to me eventually, and my mom made that true right away by gifting me this breakfast china from Villeroy and Boch.  Setting it out this morning for our feast tomorrow brought back so many memories. My parents bought it when we were living in Germany between 1989 and 1991, (and toted it through many military moves) and I can remember eating many decadent breakfasts of soft boiled eggs and bacon and ketchup sandwiches on it. I love how the back of the plate indicates it was made in West Germany. When my parents made the decision to buy this china, they had enough income to live on but not much extra. However, they were still happy to make a few sacrifices to invest in this set. 

As of this morning, all 38 places have been set for all the people who will be feasting at our house tomorrow, and I will spend the rest of my day preparing by cleaning and prepping food. I have been singing the same three lines over the last four or five days, "Prepare the way of the Lord. Prepare the way of the Lord. And all people will see the salvation of our God." I know that tomorrow is a secular holiday, but, just as many people have decided to adopt Christian holidays and make them secular, I have decided to adopt Thanksgiving as a feast for the Lord, continuing a tradition that my parents and grandparents and great grandparents started for me. And there you have it. I am thankful for my Faith and my family and the traditions that both have placed in my life. But most of all, I am thankful for sacrifice. The sacrifices my parents have made. The strength of the Lord that helps me to sacrifice. And the ultimate sacrifice that Jesus Christ made for me. 

I hope you all have a wonderful Thanksgiving! 

Also, if you need a place to come, we will still have room and plenty of food at our house! The more the merrier.

Happy Cows

Sometimes I take an alternate route in order to pass the grove where these cows hang out.  I'm not sure how much Will can see (or if he is even awake), but I always mooo quite enthusiastically if the ladies (as I call them) are there.  I wish we could take a walk down this road so we could get closer and he could see them, but it is one of those hilly country roads where if you go fast enough, your stomach will drop and you would be smart to fear for your life facing an oncoming car while going over the hills in your own car let alone on foot.  

When I stopped to snap these pics (which took maybe five seconds a piece), I kept checking my rear-view to make sure no cars were coming.  I had this horrible image of being crashed into and Will getting hurt. That has been happening a lot lately. My imagination seems to be running wild since becoming a mom.  The other day, I was walking down our street over a creek and saw a red food wrapper stuck in the rocks with some other refuse. Instead of lamenting the litter, I immediately imagined Will lunging out of his stroller to his death to get the wrapper.  (He loves all things crinkly and crunchy that are not actual toys right now.) I'm guessing this is a normal mom thing...right? Worry. Don't we normally think of moms as worriers?  Isn't it actually a helpful quality of a mom? That maternal instinct?

No. I refuse to buy into that idea. I refuse to let the worry take over my heart.  I have no room for it. I will be vigilant. I will be alert, but I will not worry.  John 14:27 says, "Peace, I leave with you; my peace I give you. I do not give to you as the world gives. Do not let your hearts be troubled and do not be afraid." My strength as a mom comes not from myself and my worries but from God. I am so thankful for the peace and joy that fills my heart. My peace and my joy make me a much better mom than all the worrying in the world. So don't worry, be happy.  Be healthy. Be peaceful. Be strong.

Also, do you see the three little calves lounging in the sun? So peaceful. Happy cows come from Illinois too.

Back Roads

When I leave my house to go run errands, I have a choice. I can turn right to head off to the highway or turn left to take the back roads. Both directions take about the same amount of time and the same amount of gas. Being my father's daughter, I choose to take the back roads and am constantly amazed by the majesty of where I live. 

I have been driving these same roads since I was 16 and had my first job at the movie theater the next town over, but I just didn't see it back then. 

When I was in high school, I knew that I would live in the city, probably wouldn't get married, and definitely wouldn't have children.  I wanted to go to school and eventually earn a PhD and become a professor and write books. I wanted to be able to walk out my front door and go to coffee shops and boutiques. (Apparently, I wanted to be an amalgamation of the characters from Friends.)

After finishing a study of the first two chapters of Matthew, I just keep seeing how God's plan for my life is so much better than my plan. At this point, I have earned only a bachelor's degree. Now, as a stay at home mom, I am technically unemployed. The nearest coffee shop is a 20 minute drive. I don't have the resources (or the desire) to shop at boutiques. The closest I get to designer clothing is Target.

But now, I don't want for anything, and I have everything I never knew I wanted.  God has sheltered me and cared for me and led me down a path that I couldn't have imagined for myself, a path that is so much better and more fulfilling. I am humbled and thankful and know that whether my day is hard or easy, whether my road is rocky or smooth, I can trust in Him.

Also, an alternate title for this post: "We're from the country, and we like it that way." I sing this to Will pretty much every time we drive down these roads, and as a result, I'm sure he will also go through a phase where he wants nothing more than to move to a big city.